#makemewannasmile

It took me years to start laughing.  First it was because it seemed to me there were no reasons for it. Later it was because I was spending a lot of time digesting my past and challenging times in it. Just to set the record straight right, I’m not saying there were no reasons to smile in my past. There sure were. What I am saying is that for a long time I could not feel it, express it nor live it.

It really does feel like a lifetime ago.

It wasn’t until a moment in my dance training at the School of Movement Medicine that I became aware of it. We had a practice where we danced in front of the camera and later on we watched it with the whole group. I remember seeing myself, witnessing that young 23-year-old woman in her dance and feeling so much for her. It was incredible how much of her on past was visible in the body. And it was almost unbelievable to see how much of that energy, posture, holding in the body doesn’t suit her any more. Gosh, I loved her to pieces.  And then my teacher, as usual probably noticing where I’m at, said just one sentence: ‘You should smile more often.’ That was a game changer.

So I decided to smile. It is incredible how much one experience and one conscious choice can bring a whole new way of being and living. At first I thought that smiling when there are challenges in my life or uncomfortable feelings within me is like putting the mask on. I didn’t want that. But soon enough I had that ‘Aha!’ moment, a complete change of perspective, a realization that it’s not about that at all. It is about what I choose to see, what I choose to focus on and where I place the identity of who I am. That doesn’t mean turning my head away from the difficult stuff. That just means to recognize that (my life) is so much greater than that.

And what helped me, what made me smile, what made me remember that part of me the most was not therapy, wasn’t the dance or practice. It was many many many of my friends, laughing our hearts out and our ass off over and over and over again. Simplicity. Life. Joy. Magic.

And soon enough… I actually  remembered… how hilarious I was.

So here’s to all the laughter, all the joy, all the friendship of this world. May we never stop reminding each other. 

Kaya

photo: Juri Sertic